Hey Aerin Kim!

I know your out there, I see you've visited.. I sent you an email... whats up girlie? You need to contact me... no comment on the whole Mia situation?

breathe in, breathe out

Well I'm home, and glad. I didn't get much of anything accomplished at work today. I mostly emailed all day long, to people on myspace. It's like as soon as M backed out of this weekend, I went into overdrive to try and make myself feel better. Talked to boys all day long. It's only momentary happiness or say; satisfaction? All day long I had that feeling of just wanting to burst into tears. I don't even know why. It seems that Weds are the hardest lately. I get really lonely on Weds. and I cry. Every week for the last 3..

Do you ever look forward to something so much and then not have it happen. Of course; it's happened to everyone. I just fuckin hate it. I get that way about everything, thats why I hate planning, because of the possibility of being let down .
Guess I really shouldn't be suprised. I mean come on Karen, what were you expecting, I mean really? Now he's laughing, just like all the rest of them.
They all want to fuck with my body and mind.

To add more to my feeling this way today, I decided to call the Ex. He sounded so fucking hot, He had been laying in bed, just waking up. He goes, don't you know what time it is here. I'm like, oh shit I didn't even think of it. Where are you? He's in Cali. It was 11am so it wasnt that early. But I was thinking initially that he was in the same time zone. So we talked awhile. I told him about my weekend gone a bust. He felt bad. Funny he was saying that he never believed and still doesnt that I didn't hook up with Mac (M) 2 yrs ago went I went to see him and spent the night. I find that funny, that he actually doesn't believe me. I almost don't believe me but I'm telling the truth. I loved the Ex to much regardless that it was over, I didn't want to jeopordize any hope that remained. *side note* We were still living together, so at that time there was hope..blah blah I know.
Phew, I took a few tokes, and one glass of wine and look me I'm blabbing on and on I'll regret theses buzzed ramblings tomorrow.
Anyway back to the Ex... He expressed that he was horny (um why tell me) I go, Umm I really didnt need to know that... he goes.. what its not like you can do anything your thousands of miles away. (totally after phone sex) I told him to call his girl for some phone sex... ahh but it felt good that he is so comfortable with me... we really do talk about everything.
I told him I would probably go out this weekend and demean myself in some way. Because it is just so easy to hook up with guys. He told me he really didnt need to hear that..my reply?... I definately miss being loved (especially by him) sex is easy, but love? hmm what is that anymore... I really don't know. I can tell you one thing, I sure have been tying to convince myself of things that really aren't possible.

Oh I wont even go into the fact of how desperate I...... ahh nevermind.. got make dinner.

Do me a favor think of me right now, and smile. :)

Re: my trip to Virginia

Well the joke is on me... I'm such a fucking idiot. And why am I even upset, once an ass always an ass right? How am I going to tell people Im not even going now, I talked and talked about it. I wasn't suppose to care or look forward to it. Sometimes Im good at lying to myself. I really wanted to get out of town and its evil ways this weekend. Now this weekend will be like the last 36 and I'll hate myself at the end of it.

Why don't I ever learn. When will I ever stop be let down.

I'd say this is damn accurate!

Which Elemental Goddess are you? (9 different results+ pictures)

Youre the Goddess of Fire. You will be drawn to hot colors and dramatic fashions as an expression of your vibrant personality. Stimulating and charismatic, you are often the life of the party. You are a huge party person and love to have fun.

People love you for: Your awesome personality and the fact that you know how to get rid of those hangovers from last nights bash. ; )

Take this quiz!








Quizilla
Join

Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

Mia - is alive! : UPDATE at the bottom

What a fucked up night. I swear I'm bi-polar. I had such a good day yesterday, feeling so positive. Then lastnight it all diappeared. All I wanted to do was cry. And I did. I went to my Dad's for dinner, and there was a really weird vibe there. He seemed drunk, his wife calls it tired. I really don't know. She seemed overly annoyed, and I was just plain old uncomfortable. Cam was great, for once. He ate all his dinner there, and was very polite. When I left their house I was just over come with sadness. I live 4 blocks from them, and just started crying. TLM was like Mommy look at me, I said why? he goes cause I think you're crying. We get out of the car at home, and says mommy give me a huggy, I go why, he says cause your upset mommy and I want to make you feel better. This makes me even more sad, my son is so damn perceptive, and caring. He goes don't worry as he grabs my hand, we'll be inside snuggling on the couch in a minute you'll feel better. He melts my heart. I don't know what I would do without him. So once I'm inside I set up the laptop, check the mypsace account. my yahoo email, and low and behold what do I have? An email from classmates telling me that Mia Altobello has sent me an email. M y world is flipped upside down, I cant believe this. She's alive, she emailed me!! Well I can't get on the classmates site because I don't know my f'in password, after 20 minutes it is sent to me, the wholetime I'm freaking, what could her email possibly say. Once I'm finally able to get to my message center, I cant read it because I'm not a gold member!! unfucking believable.
I wish I could convey really how important this all is to me. The past with this girl, the good and the bad. The mothering I did, the rescuing of her, the lies I heard, the pain I felt. Two people who meant so much to me could get together and hurt me so bad. But I'm excited. She's alive. No matter what, I guess I'll always be a sucker. Mac told me I need to forgive. I always forgive, that's me, after time passes the pain diminishes, christ I've forgiven him. But he faced up to the truth, we've done alot talking. I want to know what she's done the past 5 yrs, I want to tell her everything thats happened to me. I want her to know my son, to see how awesome he is. Geez she could have her own kid. At this point I have no idea what the email she sent me says, because I cant access it. I have no money to even become a gold member. I sent her a email and in the subject line put my yahoo address, so maybe she will email me there. Who knows. Maybe this is all some kind of a joke. Maybe I'm being set up to only be walked again. I do know one thing now, I am older and wiser, but I'm always there for a friend in need.
I could go on and on about this but i have to get some work done. Oh and this is the fucking person I knew my horoscope was talking about. I even said that in that particular post. I'll link it when I find it.

UPDATE:
She called, unbelievable. Im shaking. Any worry is gone. It was so great to hear her voice. I don't if there is enough time in the world to catch up on everything and she is so far away. We both were fighting for air talking. I've been waiting for this day, I just can't believe its finally here. I wish I had money to hop on the next plane out there so we can just talk and talk and talk... god Im such an idiot listen me...

oh and I just THE hottest guy in my office: project find out who the hell he is and snag is underway! Got to get to work don't know I can concentrate, my life just took a huge turn; for the best, I hope!

this makes my heart melt

more later, must get some work done. but damn I love that man, pathetic I know.

The monday after

Well St. Patty's Day sure wound up to be a good one, with not too many regrets. The night started at the brewery, drinks were drank laughs were had. Damn my ass looked good! LOL.. hey it's not everyday I feel that way so allow me to gloat a little. My old friend Josh met up with us there. I made a new girl friend, this really sweet girl. She invited me over to her dinner party the next night, which I happily excepted. And get this she actually called me the next day. I felt like I had given a guy my number and he called it was funny. I wasn't able to attend dinner though (more later). We headed down to town to the new bar that just opened. I knew the FB would be there. I knew I shouldn't have gone, I knew he would only hurt me. I had already demeaned myself earlier in the evening by texting him that I was shaved, trimmed looking hot, and ready to fuck..nana..
pathetic I know. I added the nana, so he knew I was out on the prowl, but he also knew it would only take one phone call from him, for me to succumb. God I should not even admit to this.
So yea he was at the 2nd bar as expected, by the time I arrived I was feeling good for a number of reasons. I did my own thing, but I did grab his dick and tell him he no chance with the skank he was talking to, and she couldn't do him like I could...again pathetic I know. Laughable now, hindsite is always 20/20... amazing how drugs and alcohol make you act and feel.

Did some dancing, I didn't hang out there to long. My friend and I were content to go to my place and chill. Got home at like 11:00. Called the Ex didn't leave message. No reason to call, just did cause I could. He quickly text me, asking what was up, that he was in a bar. I didn't respond, because I had no real reason to call, I was just feeling good, and of course missing him as usual. Well he then called me shortly after that . The band was in Boston I believe, he was walking home from a bar. I told him I was trying to take a pic earlier of me in my thong to send him, but was unable to. The ass shot with a camera phone is not easy. He was all disappointed. After we hung up, he texts where are those pics at?..LOL..damn, I jumped up handed Josh my phone and was like ok, be a good friend a take 2 pics of my thonged ass..lol.. he happily obliged, and I sent the Ex (amongst others) the pics. His reply? ... Nice...Just as I remembered. ha..*sigh* damn!! I know what/who he was looking at that night alone in bed, makes me happy, but so damn sad at the same time.

Josh left at like 4am, as another guy friend came over. Hmmm dont know what to refer to him as... how about BB for brewery boy. BB and I have hung out a few times, probably even referenced him here under another abbreviation, but lets start over now shall we. He brought some wine, beer, and good company. We made a quick errand run, came back and settled in. I such a good time with him. We both got a few things off of our minds from our previous experiences with eachother. I was so worried about his impression of me because of those previous experiences, but it appears I have NOTHING at all to be worried about. And he proved how nice of a guy he is that night.

There is so much more I'd love to document but am unable to on here. Guess I 'll save that for on paper. Let's just say though I broke the record from last St. Patty's, my day didnt end till Sat night and it took a few more twists and turns through out the day. The best part? The FB has/had no real part in my evening, let alone my good time!

The FB however did prove ONCE AGAIN the asshole he truly is on Sunday. By repeatedly calling me, and when I didn't answer he started texting mean things about "my boy" finally I call asking him what the hell he is talking about. He was talking about his "connection" who failed to meet him when he said so. The FB was thinking that I was bitter towards him so I told "the man" not to meet up with him.... ahh the minds of strung out partiers. Did I mention this takes place at 9am in the morning....I had been sleeping, he on the other hand.hmm ...lol... he had the nerve to call me a crack head. Well I firmly (yelled) informed that I could less about him, therefore I am not bitter, nor have I talked to the man in weeks... and how dare he call me a crack head considering the reason he was calling pissed off anyway. I told him to fuck off. and hung up.
Guess I hurt his feelings cause then he got really mean, and immature, Texting me to take a hint and beat it.. then tells me... Sorry, I love you but ur not 4me. I feel freedom yes? yes!
Ugh, this man is 33 yrs old. I didn't respond. It didn't warrant one. It hurt.. It for a number of reasons...but at least I know the truth in the matter and truthfully he is fucked in the head.
Sunday evening was not fun at all, but Im waiting for me to get pics to post that fucked up night. let me sat though the ex's girlfriend?- what a fucking baby.

tata

The one in which I piss and moan about the FB....

But first Happy St. Patrick's Day!! Drinks @ Sly Fox tonight!

Can't wait, I feel like I haven't been out in so long. I don't know what my night has in store for me. Maybe nothing much at all, maybe so. Time will tell. Best case scenerio. #1 crush will be there, or maybe a new crush will appear. Worse case scenerio, I wake up with that tall black man beside me.... is that really the worse case scenerio? To some, guess it depends how you look at it. But I'm not calling him no matter how crunk I am.

The FB. You thought he was gone huh? Or that I've just been keeping in under wraps. Well I guess he is gone. I'm suppose to be happy about this, this is what I wanted. But I feel so fucking pissed off about it. It's so messed up. I did really well last week. Ok, there was Tues night when I wielded my sexual power over him to then turn around and leave. I spoke with him briefly last Fri. at 2am, you know those calls, when your on the hunt. Thankfully shortly after I spoke with him I came to my senses. No desire to call on Saturday. Sunday morning picked him up at this boy A1's house. We spent the day together, blah blah, blah. I was probably too honest about my feelings, or lack there of. I went to work Monday, came home he had straigntened up my apt. and did the dishes. We had dinner I took him to practice sealed it with a kiss, then POOF he's gone. Of course I get drunk just about everynight this week, and of course he is the one I want to talk to, to "see". Assshole doesn't pick up the phone, or return my texts. Again I say: I should be happy with this, this is what I wanted. But I am a attention whore, as well as a power trippen one! And this girl has neither right now, and I'm hurtin... serves me right I know. I'm being honest here though. If I can't be honest with myself who can I be? Angi is happy about this, everytime I talk to her she goes, have you talked to Pat? Me: no, but I tried to call him though. Then she gets all disappointed. Same with my family. I'm just an over needy person. I can't even tolerate watching tv this week, I go home and go to bed when TLM does. I realize I'm just going through changes. New apt., and what not.... Why can't I just be content to be alone. The FB had to all go and flip the script on me.. I guess I should send him a Thank You note...haha


Oh I failed to jot down the fact that I was stood up again, by the same fucking person this week. How pathetic and desparate am I to give the flaming asshole a second shot at me, ME damn it! Pfft!!!

Oh please make tonight a good one!!

On another note: I was thinking how weird for my birthday in 04; the EX bought me 2 CD's one was howwthorne heights, the other fall out boy, now not 2 yrs later he on a tour with those bands... coincidence...hmmm?
Damn there was something else I needed to spurt and I can't remember. hmm

2nd post of the day!

whats with all these multiple posts!! here is another!


This is what I get for not shoving any shit up my nose, a sinus infetion that won't quit! My head is killing me. I feel like I'v been up for days blowing lines, when in fact I've been so good I'm quite proud of myself! I wish I could go buy some sudafed. I'm going to my bro's for dinner tonight so hopefully I can scarf some meds from him.

So yea I've been a good girl. It hasn't been that hard. I've been slightly tempted to pick up the phone and call some people I know that I could easily influence, but I've been enjoying going to bed early and getting to work on time. Funny my head is still pretty screwed up. Now that I'm relatively sober (I still drink my wine) my brain has been obviously betraying by letting me think about the past and what I don't have way too much. That's just me though!

I'm heading to Virginia soon for a weekend. I'd like to go in 2 weeks, but I'm thinking I probably won't be able to go for 3. If I hold off for 3 weeks, I could probably leave early on a Friday, and stop in our Annapolis office to do some work, that way I'll be halfway there. D.C. traffic is the absolute worse. the last time I drove down to see Mac, it took me over 5 hrs due to traffic. Uh huh, Mac, going to see Mac. this could turn out horribly, Im thinking expect the worse, get the best....I talked to him on the phone last night, and lets just say I was a bad girl. Damn wine, I drank too much of it..lol This girl needs the real thing, some good lovin.

I dreamt about going to the Fall Out Boy show on Sunday. I dreamnt that I forgot my camera to take pics of the Ex on stage, and the Ex's girl forgot TLM headphones. Also in my dream, someone was talking about how one of the bands in the show had gone through 5 bundles of heroine! weird... I guess because From First to Lasts new album is call heroine. I getting excited about the show on Sunday. Not sure what to expect. I know The Ex is up first. His girl will be there, I'm bringing TLM. The Ex may take TLM home after FFTL is done. this is the best case scenerio for me cause then I get to stay and see Hawthrone Heights, All American Rejects, and Fall Out Boy... Such a commercial concert, but Im dork, and Im excited... The fall out boy cd actually has really grown on me. Not sure how Im getting into the show and what not.... The Ex said he would meet us, I guess I'll wait to find out the logistics. Oh what to wear, I mean I have to look like a MILF right, all these young boys in bands...lol

Few more weeks till the Taking Back Sunday show too!! yipee. Oh and there new CD is out at around the same time...ahh I love the spring time, now if it woud just hurry up and get here.
tata for now!

Memories..more

Karen,
I may not remember everything you say to me, but everyday I am reminded of how much I love you. Everything I see somehow reminds me of you. All the things I do and accomplish, I want you to hear about it first. I find myself grinning from ear to ear just over something you said or a picture of you in my head. That never happened before. I Love You so much, and I hope this week will be one we can remember, and talk about for a long time!
I love you- Matt

Aren't things so beautiful, fresh, and new at the begining of a relationship? That little diddy, was written inside of a card from Sept, 2000. I brought in a photo album to work to show my co-worker a pic, inside of my photo album was this card. It was from The Ex (babys daddy). Out first vacation together, and it happened to fall on my birthday. I was so excited coming home from work that day, at the top of his steps was one of those Beta fish plant thingy's with the card attached. Inside the card he drew a little fighting fish, under his note.. He went behind my back and met up with a co-worker of mine to get me he the fish/plant thingy cause I had been talking about it.
Our vacations was great he had rented a nice place on the beach in the outer banks..... a few after is when he asked me to move in.
I don't know why I feel the need to put this out there. But I'm just going through so much in my head lately. It's been so long since I've been loved like that. Taken care of, feeling that no matter what he would always be there for me. Ugh, don't you wsh you could just shut it off sometimes, the thinking?

yes another post.. I cant help it!

I so can't concentrate on work today... not that, that is abnormal but still annoying.
The hearing from my old high school boy has me thinking of all kinds of things.... he started it, not me!
He emailed me that he has some pics of me that would probably get me hooked up real fast. First I was thinking what a jerk, whats wrong with my pics; then I remembered. I have a set of 8x10 black and whites of me naked from senior yr in high school. I haven't forgetten about these pics, matter of fact I show to alot of people. (there pretty tasteful, nothing to graphic) I had forgotten that he was the one who took them. Then I asked wait a minute you have your own set.? I was under the impression that I was only one. hmm!!
So now I can't help but remember the whole relationship and how many firsts it represents in my life.
He was the first guy I set my sights on, and just knew I couldn't get. He was too cool, everyone like him, as well as the girls, I was just a nobody. Hmm and he was one of those skater boys.
Then one Friday night I was cornered by him in the local diner where everyone hung out and drank coffee and he asked me out. I about died. From the first date we were together 2 yrs. he being 2 yrs ahead of me in school, soon graduated after we started dating. Start date of Karen begining to skip school on a regular basis. Dad would drop me off in the front of the building.. I'd run through the school, and meet the boy in the back.
I meet my best guy friend through him, and we are still friends to this day... my best guy friend was there for me through all my tears when the boyfriend broke up with me, again and again.
I got the H.S. boyfriend high for his first time... we took acid for the first time together.. my Dad found out shortly afterwards while shopping in the local pharmacy. There were 2 people in the next isle talking about how M and his girlfriend ate acid over the weekend. Can you imagine the horrible luck that was mine. My Dad sat me down had a serious talk with me.. blah blah blah...I never cared for acid anyway.
First vibrator bought boy the high school boyfriend, funny thing is never used it until we broke up. That is when I had my first orgasm. thanks h.s. boyfriend. thank god, I never realized what I was missing.
he was the first boy to buy me jewelry.. an emerald and diamond tucked in a dozen roses..."pre-enagement" haha..kids!
I can't listen to Tori Amos- Under the Pink with out thinking about all the crying I did to that CD, and all the games of Tetris I played to take my mind off of the boy who broke my heart. My dad would walk into my room and I would just be sitting there crying and crying.
Even though we broke up prior to me graduating high school, I still followed. I went to Peirce College across from Univ. of the Arts (his school) we remained friends. It was weird I never thought I'd be able to do that. And through him, not even a month after moving to college.. is where I met that "other" boy. You know the one Mac... the one who makes me giggle, and gets me hot and bothered on the phone.
After meeting him my life took on a whole another route.... but thats another story.
the h.s. boyfriend was the one there for me when Mac left Philly to go back to Virginia..
he was also there for me when I was taken advantage of and wound up having to go planned parent hood. he let me spend the night at his apt. and let me cry the night before my procedure.
Good friends are hard to come by.

Funny these 2 guys, who have meant so much to me, who have helped shape me into the person I am today, are both back in my life in some type of way. I mean they've always been there. Its just, oh I don't know, feels funny, like funny weird. Oh I have a funny weird thing... so my sons b-day is the same as h.s.boyfriends, and his name is Mac backwards. lol

I'm a lucky girl, I need to remember that, and just because I've been with a particular asshole this past year, I have the ability to do better. I will do better, I know he's out there somewhere. In the meantime it is nice to catch up with old friends.

hmmm

My sinus’ hurt so bad, really just the left side, but nonetheless it hurts! I keep waking thinking I will feel better, but never do.

So remember that post I wrote awhile ago about my horoscope saying someone from my past will reappear? Well I received a similar horoscope again! Yesterday I had a my space friend request.. guy seemed like a total freak… started checking out his page…had a pic of his brother and Im like dang his bro ain’t bad. When I enlarged the pic, I realized the “freak” who emailed me was my high school boyfriend. HA… not a freak at all, well maybe to some. Crazy ass shit. I saw him back before summer, he looked totally different. Apparently he has moved and is no longer engaged.. which would explain the appearance difference ? Another funny thing is TLM is going to be going to the daycare his mom helps run. So hmmm is this the person making reappearance in my life? I’m not talking romantically, just in general.

Feeling blue today… Feeling excited yesterday. Up down Up down constantly. Sick of being lonely, sick of being poor, sick of being me.

Daryl Palumbo..

I just feel the need to exclaim that listening to glassjaw and darryl sing fucking turns me on… fucking hot! I don’t know what my problem is today, I cant stop thinking of sex.
Yea Im working hard blasting some old glassjaw in the headphones…. You may be more familiar with head automatica that who he’s singing with now… love them too, just glassjaw, is so hard.


got the net at home now, be on tonight!

my life is so interesting I tell ya!

Wow, this girl was stood up y’all! Can you believe it…LOL…laugh with me now. It was so weird. I was feeling a little weird in the first place. Angi kept looking at me like I wasn’t going to give the guy a fair shot, I said I was. I was going wasn’t I? So I head to the brewery on time. Knowing he was probably going to be a few minutes late, since he had called to tell me. I figured I could sip down one Weiss for the nerves ya know? Note: I went the bar with NO money. Ok, get there 6:30, 6:45 he calls he’s on his way. (he’s less than 5 mins mind you) 7:pm, I call Angi, um Angi if I get stood up you have to come and pay my tab, Im on my 2nd beer, its been a half an hour. 7:10 phone rings its him, pick up, he’s gone, call back; NO ANSWER.. hmmmmm. By this time I’m joking with everyone in the bar about being stood up, hahaha what a hoot! The bartender tells me not to worry about the tab, you know previous FB2 is manager….tee hee… be “good” to your bartenders. So I duck out at 7:15, after waiting for 45 min. Wait my phone rang again at some point, I answer he’s not there, I call back no answer. At 7:20 I call leave a message, stating that I was perplexed, but don’t bother calling back.

Weird ass shit I tell ya! I go back to Angi and Andy’s. I got a buzz from 2 F’n beers. You know who walks in as I get there, and you know who I want to take home to make me feel better. Damn he looked good, damn the FB, damn him. damn alcohol. So I grab “him”& say your coming home with me right? He tries to resist as he’s growing in my hand as he’s speaking, ahh the power. He tells me to wait till 9:00 after practice. Well by the time 9:00 came, I came to my senses and got the hell out of there. Took TLM home, and went to bed. The other “boy” called I didn’t answer. I’m not interested. Nor do I let some nobody embarrass me. I got a weird story out of it though, I’m sharing it.

So I decided to stay in this evening. I know what going out will lead to and I want to have a good weekend. I’m going to my Pops for burgers on the grill this evening and I may do a little late night unpacking and laundry. I want to try and find a kitten this weekend as well as some bathroom rugs and what not. I’m so looking forward to the weekend!!! I’m so happy right now. Wish me luck on my interview.

craiglister boy here I come!

I've received a overwhelming response to my personal so much so that I deleted it today after 2 days, I received about 50 responses. I can't even respond to a quarter of them. Granted most are likely sleeze balls, and I've seen some sleeze balls. I've emailed a few, but one inparticular I couldn't stop typing in my response. We then proceeded to IM the rest of the afternoon at work, THEN talked on the phone for 2hrs later that night. Damn I feel like a girl in high school. all giddy and shit...LOL... I still don't have a real good take on him yet. But tonight should seal the deal. I'm meeting him for a drink at 6:30 at the Brewery for about an hour. I figure hell the brewery is the safest place; I know every single person there! Andy and Angi will watch TLM and I will leave all necessary info. with them. I'm not sure what to expect. eek!! This is crazy. So needless to say I haven't talked to any other responses I've receive but hot damn I know what to do if I need to make myself feel better!!

Still battling this cold...tomorrow night should be fun we are going to see Big Green at Rex's. Momma is gonna party it up... and not pay for a thing. Damn I better feel better!

I had a great talk with the EX on the phone the other night,. Did I write that in here yet? I called him all drunk. Better him then the FB.. The Ex and apologized to eachother, said we never want to fight like that again. I told him we shouldn;t even talk to eachother as much as we do and about the shit we talk about. But he doesn't agree. he doesn't see anything wrong. I don't know. I apologized for calling and crying to him, he said I never need to apologize to him or thank him. hmm whatever I guess.


Ok, well gotta go
tata

Craiglist

Ok, who has experience/a story about craiglist? I posted a personal ad this morning, and have gotten like 14 responses in 2 hours. I only responded to a few. It's scary, but exciting!

Oh, I can't breathe, or stop coughing! I'm so sick! ugh!

welcome home!

Well I’m still alive, getting sicker by the moment…this sucks. So the move is done, thank the Lord. It was a hell of a week. I was off work last Tues, then TLM was sick stayed home Thursday with him. Started the move on Weds, did a few trips everyday. I was totally freaking out all week long. I mean a complete spaz. I can’t help but turn in to a bitch when I’m stressed. And although it isn’t fair, I take it out on everyone around me! As much as I was fretting about Saturday which was the biggest day of the move, it all worked out, thanks to some people who I suppose really care about me. The FB not being one of them! Big surprise there! Andy came through with the pick up truck, and my friend Ed came up so I had to boys to help, and me. Andy son was there too. I sent TLM off to G.G-Mom’s, to get him out of the way. My girlfriend Angela came up in the evening, and we unpacked a little. Ordered pizzas, watched a scary movie, drank a case of beer. Sunday I had to get up and go to the old apt. and clean. F’ing sucked!! We there for 3 hrs. I’m so glad I had my Grandmom and Angela to help me. By the time the 3hrs was up I didn’t care what wasn’t done, I just wanted to get out of then and get some sleep, as well as some food. Have I said yet that I love my new place? I love that I’m living in my home town. I love that my dad and step mom are up the street as well as my Sis, and my Grandmom! It’s different living in an apt. complex, but so far so good. TLM keeps saying that he is happy too. I can’t wait till spring time. My work commute now is 45 mins, not real bad, that’s a no traffic commute. I’m lucky that I don’t have to travel any highways, because they all suck!

So the FB and I are done once again. This time hopefully for real. I have no real desire to see or speak to him. He let me down big time. But then again, I expected it. Nor did I want to continue the relationship, just kept hanging on cause I needed help with the move. He can no longer walk to my place, which is a relief. I’m ready to start my new life now.

Tonight the unpacking commences. I plan on getting all the clothes in my room hung up and put away. My Dad is supposed to come over with his wife. I told him I wanted a bottle of wine for a house warming gift..lol. I can’t wait to get home.

Oh I wasn’t able to upload my pics last week so here are some! The top is Angi and I, of course me and the FB here... and the boy breakdancing is fucking awesome, you should seen him. He is super talented. He and his girl came back after the show and hung out.
Here is Angi and Joe, tell me this girl doesn't look wasted! Not to mention hot! And then one more of me and two really great guys from the "circle of friends" . tata