Wow people it is 2008! Happy New Year!! I have been very, very negligent with this blog and alot has happened. Here is my quick re-cap of the last month and half.Mr. Perfect/Mr.Wonderful, well lets just say I jumped the gun again. Things are just about over. I really don't want to go into it.
The holidays were blah....due to my stupidity of hitting a parked car on the way home x-mas eve from my Grandparents house. And I was 3 blocks from hy house. It was very frightening, my car has been deemed totaled, and towed away. I am currently borrowing a friends car for the time being. There is long road ahead of me due to this. I am not proud of my actions. I thought things were finally going in the right direction for me. I've been thinking postive and staying positive. I have changed my habits, but not good enough. Nothing is ever good enough.
One good thing that has come out of this so far is that I've used my insurance money to pay off some bills. I am finally on track with my rent and intend to stay that way.What else? I recieved a letter from Pat. It was great to hear from him. He is in my thoughts often. I realize that if he didnt go away I probably never would of cleaned my act up. I am sorry that he is the one suffering.
I attempted to reconcile with my mother , but that didn't really work out. I guess I'm a little bitter about the fact that she won't even give me her phone number. I mean here I am, I reached out to her; which is something I promised I wouldn't do. I wanted her to apologize for once, to admit that she was wrong in breaking my trust. But I put all that aside, and she can't meet me half and give me her phone nuimber. How shitty is that? Keep in mind, she never needed to change it in the first place because of me. Hell I don't even know why she changed it. I never harassed her or anything. The whole situation is just shitty, and she proved to me once again just what type of person/mom she is, or rather isn't. 
Cam is doing GREAT! I couldn't be more proud of him. He turned 6 back on Nov 27th. He had a tough time with his Dad being on tour this last round but we all worked together to remain positive. Heck, he got to go to New York and use te tamborine on stage with the band Straylight Run, He has also be able to see his Dad play a few different shows in different venues. There are not too many 6yr olds that can say that. As much as he misses his Daddy, I know he is really proud of him too. Today Cam is doing his first oral report in school, it is on rattlesnakes. He did a run through this morning, I was unbelievably proud of him. He never ceases to amaze me. He is what keeps me going. I've been making great strides in being a better mother. I have been seeing a psychologist regulary and staying away from partying. I enjoy getting up early on Sat & Sun. and getting things done. I feel alot better about myself. I just wish x-mas eve never happened. Alas I will persevere.
So that is my update. Work is going hella slow today. I got my cable hooked back up yesterday, I am looking forward to watching it this weekend. I also am having my Step-Dad and Tracie over for dinner tomorrow. Im going to make a stuffed tenderloin. hmmm hmmmmtata
