small purge....

So I go back and forth in my head all the time about deleting this all together...but I just cant seem to do it. Main reason to delete wold bethe step-mom knows about this now, so anything can be used against me. sure I can go ahead and delete my past even though my past is the past...but I still have to consider all future writings. But Im going to need to do some writing this week. I gotta get shit off my chest. And facebook isnt the place for it.

The hardest part about my current break up is not defending myself, try and and let what is being said about me not hurt me. Because deep down I know why he's lashing out, why he is so angry. I'll never know why he is so paranoid. His problems arent mine, I cant change his thought processes. He just text me you're not friends with your exes you keep them around to give you things... which is absolutely hilarious. I have about 10 ex boyfriends on facebook and in my cell phone. I was thinking tonight. You know when you're in high school and you break with a guy and your a little scared of what they may divulge about you.. you know in high school you had those fears? I didnt realize being in your 30's men still were so mean and spiteful. Im so truly disappointed right now. Serioulsy I thought he was it. Finally I felt for someone like I felt for the ex... or did cause I havent shed one tear.... more later.